Arnold Schwarzenegger plays himself in everything. He's been Evil Robot Arnold, Good Robot Arnold, Russian Arnold, Suburban Spy Arnold, even Pregnant Arnold! That said, we've managed to narrow it down to the three quintessential Schwarzenegger roles — the T-800, Conan, and Major Alan Schaefer, aka Dutch from Predator. We're excluding the Governator because, obviously, he'd just call in the California National Guard. Also, our T-800 is the evil one from The Terminator, not the good one from the later movies, as the first is probably the toughest and would make for the most interesting matchup. So who wins this triple threat?
You may think the T-800 would run away with it, being an evil robot assassin from the future and all, but remember, he lost to Sarah Connor before she became a badass, so he'd meet his own Judgment Day, especially without a weapon. Conan with a sword, and a magic one at that, is a formidable foe, but he's also too reckless. Besides a magic sword won't do too much against the other Arnolds' automatic firearms. Our winner? Dutch. The Dude beat a Predator without even knowing what it was and with nothing but the South American jungle as his weapon! Both Conan and the T-800 bleed (so to speak), so Dutch could kill them, at least with time to prepare. In a battle with Major Dutch, the T-800 and Conan's only option is to "get to the choppa." Winner: Dutch.
